Eye-rolls in prose

“You are not that intelligent.”

I won’t accept such senseless evaluation from a person who thinks he’s all that. Grabe lang. This is the most degrading comment I have ever gotten from a completely lowly person. If it came from a “real” intelligent person, I could have acquiesced the criticism. But him? Never. This IS about pride. I never let it get stomped on by just another deprived and discontented creature.

What you said resounds in my head everyday. Unlike you, I can do things that can prove all of its wrongness. The thing is, I don’t prove anything to anyone. I just do things and let them speak for themselves.

I can’t let this go FOR NOW because it gives me the juices to be someone that my family can be proud of. But you, the reason you can’t let this go is because you are in a state of constant denial and insecurity.

One last thing, if you plan on insulting me again someday, don’t ever, EVER, borrow a deodorant’s slogan as a retort. Nahihiya ako para sa’yo.

Don’t worry, there’s still a part of me that understands you and the reasons behind your insecurities.

Los perros dias son hecho, perra.

There’s this pageant my course hosts every year and I volunteered myself to be our section’s candidate’s PA. Her family was very grateful for the deed so they invited me over to dinner after the event.

We were dining and talking about stuff when the topic about me taking Law suddenly popped out of the blue. The thing is, they’re not my family, they do not know me fully, but they were urging me to pursue it. Oh, nothing. It just matters a lot when people believe in me.

Is it the same case with you?

I cut my hair last night. I was feeling really stressed about things that I haven’t even started planning yet. We had a group report in one major subject and it turned out to be a failure. The professor gave us another chance and I’m not sure if I want it. Sometimes, I don’t need second chances. Sometimes I’m glad everything is over even if it turned out badly.

It was only yesterday when things began to sink in. My slate has been stained. Now I gotta think of something clever to redeem myself, and damn it’s getting on my nerves. I can’t function with “this thing” still on my plate.

Also, I am so broke that I had to do my own manicure and pedicure, AND my haircut. Feels great not to spend a damn penny.

To make things clear, it is not my intention to bash or even to make a negative review about that Facebook game Alter Space. This isn’t even a review at all, this is just a random thought that came to me one day as I was enjoying making my avatar happy in that virtual world.

So there’s this thing in that game called the “carbon footprint” and if it is high, it means you’re not playing the game “wisely”. So each day, your avatar is given tasks to perform, and some of those tasks just have to be ignored, like turning on the AC, the heater, watching a film, or using the computer. Using the computer emits the most greenhouse gas and equates to 82% of CF. I was so saddened by my skyrocketing CF level that I suddenly thought that I was being a hypocrite, playing this game cuz it’s not like the others, cuz there’s a more deeper meaning into it, like it promotes saving the earth and all that inspiring stuff, but if you look at it closely, in reality, I am increasing my carbon footprint contribution to this dying world by playing a game that promotes the opposite.

See, you’re bored. This is so tacky, I’m gonna have to re-write it.

I kind of have a trilemma regarding my plans for the future. I’m thinking if I should attend Law School, enroll in French/Spanish classes, or take any graphic arts courses.

Law School = one big heap of NOT SURE. Maybe I just like the idea of being a law student. I like the superiority that attorneys bring with them. If I were an annoying creature, I would have just probably said this: I love lawyers’ swag.

FRENCH/SPANISH classes = SURE, WHY NOT? I mean, I’ve been dying to learn French since forever. I’ve learned how to pronounce the French R quite decently.

Graphic Arts – Meh. I’m not into this at the moment. My being an artist is based on my emotions, and if we’re talking about my emotions, boy we gotta be really careful.

Among those three, I am most sure about taking the language classes. Also, my father is willing to support whichever I do. It’s just amazing.

If it isn’t obvious enough, I am a foodie. I eat everything I fancy. I am not maarte when it comes to food. I eat in carinderias, I eat streetfood, I fucking eat everything. Wala akong rule na kailangan maka-20 chews bago lunukin yung food. Psh.

Wala lang, I just wanted to say that.

So. These past few months I’ve been really confused about what I should do with my cyber self. I mean, I was a “blogger” for like, 5 straight years and suddenly, I just thought I was losing whatever it is that made me be that person. I was constantly attempting to write something witty and catchy and I fail, every time. So I decided, maybe I just have to let go. This shouldn’t be too big of a deal, I thought. I had Twitter and Facebook and Twitter and Facebook. I had a real life, too.

I was jumping from site to site, from WordPress to Tumblr. I even tried to resurrect my archaic Tabulas account because I missed the readership and the people. After a short while, I realized that I didn’t really wanna be back there. My old self sucks. I was annoying and maarte. I don’t want to be that person anymore.

Whatever this is I’m doing, this is episodic, temporary. I just suddenly felt a need to “blog away” whatever came to mind. There’s this feeling that I need to explain myself to the imaginary people who read what I write.

So anyway, I am graduating next year and I feel like I should be a lot more stressed that I actually am. I have lots of time in my hands and I fail to use it productively. The idea that I should probably quit Facebook and Twitter was even considered. I feel like gaining a fatty pound for each minute I spend on these websites.

Okay, gotta go.

As a human being and a citizen of this country, I believe—and should everyone else—that I do not have the right to be so critical about other people especially if I haven’t ever been in their shoes. Being a president of an entire nation isn’t something I could easily picture myself doing. I can imagine being in the position but NOT the way I will execute my plans and responsibilities. One thing comes to mind: it must be tough, tougher than anyone could ever expect. I support the President’s advocacies, beliefs, and movements. It’s a little early to show doubt and be so negative about his performance for his first year of administration, and as he said, this is all just the beginning.

PNoy is taking the wang-wang metaphor into a whole new level. Some people think he might be exaggerating this bit and I beg not to jump into the bandwagon. There’s nothing wrong pointing out the good qualities a leader is attempting to implement regardless its slow uptake by the society. If negativistic people only learn to give things a little more time, before they know it, everyone—not just politicians—has already started to “un-wangwang” certain aspects of their lives. His usage of the wang-wang metaphor all throughout his speech has nothing to do with his overall report of his productivity and performance. This is just an issue about his speech writing style and does not concern the content of his speech at all. The difference between the two should be recognized.

I can feel how important it is to him to let the public know how he greatly detests previous leaders of the country, especially the ones who were abusive and did nothing but break promises during their time of administration. Again, although this may mean “nothing” to people, to me it feels a little reassuring that these issues are getting addressed, that it matters to him what we think and feel, how greatly we may have been disappointed in the past, and how he is planning on changing the whole shebang. It may be that the President just comes across to be a very charismatic and persuasive speaker but still, there’s substance and intense justification in his tone of voice implying that he means what he says. It’s not just the way he delivers it, it’s what’s in his speech, importantly. It’s both form and substance rolled into one.

Regarding his statement which said,

 “Kung sa trapiko nga ay di masunod ang batas, paano pa kaya sa mga bagay na mas malaki ang makukuha?”

I just have to comment that to some extent, this could be applicable to everybody who has at least told innumerable lies in their lifetimes. If people lie on the littlest things, eventually they will learn how to orchestrate bigger and unflawed ones in the future. People start at the bottom, as they make their ways up, the level of their wrongdoing elevates as well. PNoy does not want this happening in the country and he is starting it himself.

The way PNoy says, “Ako rin,” signifies how much he wants to connect with the public. He is suggesting that although he is the president of the country, it is just a position, a title, and it doesn’t make the rest of us any less of what he is. He levels his way of feeling and thinking with that of the public. The adage “rank entails privileges” does not apply to him.

PNoy reports that 1 million families have self-rated their satisfaction levels and results showed that they could now afford enough meals for the day. This is good news for the Aquino administration and as well a good sign that something is being done to alleviate the condition of those wallowing in poverty and misery.

PNoy claims that there have been upgrades in the Philippine economy and that these will continue. To be able to come up with this conclusion, there should have been intense focus on the details. As a student like me, I did not quite understand what PNoy is claiming when he says, “The Philippine economy is getting better” when he explained all of it in 2 paragraphs. I applaud his usage of the Filipino language in delivering his SONA because it is for the people of the Philippines. But in the case of this very technical situation, I believe PNoy should have focused more on how he can deliver these results to the laypeople, who, by the way, outnumber those who are fluent in economic jargon.

The confidence of investors in our energy sector has been revived. In 2006, only 35 companies were eager to participate in the exploration and strengthening of our oil and natural gas resources. He says that in 2014, our country will have a cheaper, more reliable source of energy due to the contract signed just last Friday regarding the construction of a new power plant in the Luzon grid.

There was a point in the PNoy’s SONA where other people felt that he is dwelling too much on the issues of the past. People say that he should not let the remains of the bygones cloud his judgment and constrain his ways of leading the people in the present. According to PNoy, others have also commented that he may have been taking all this personally and he answered them quite ferociously:

 “Personal talaga sa akin ang paggawa ng tama, at ang pagpapanagot sa mga gumagawa ng mali—sino man sila. At hindi lamang dapat ako ang namemersonal sa usaping ito. Personal dapat ito sa ating lahat, dahil bawat Pilipino ay biktima nito.”

At the latter part of his speech, he exemplifies this issue further by saying:

 “Ang mali—gaano katagal man ito nanatili—ay mali pa rin. Hindi puwedeng “Oks lang, wala lang iyan.” Kapag kinalimutan natin ang mga ito, mangyayari lang ulit ang mga kamalian ng nakaraan. Kung hindi magbabayad ang mga nagkasala, parang tayo na rin mismo ang nag-imbita sa mga nagbabalak gumawa ng masama na umulit muli.”

To those who do not appreciate PNoy’s struggles in making the abusive people of the past pay for their wrongdoings, I wonder what could be your counterargument to this.

PNoy also boasted the zero-based budgeting program which has been on the run for two consecutive years already. According to Investopedia.com, “ZBB is method of budgeting in which all expenses must be justified for each new period. Zero-based budgeting starts from a “zero base” and every function within an organization is analyzed for its needs and costs.” Basing my opinion on the definition of ZBB, I think that this method is very helpful especially to a nation where corruption is infamous. When things lack planning and order, the people in charge tend to just depend on the “bahala na” mentality which usually results in unprincipled ways and dishonesty. I think when “every function” and “every move” of an organization is analyzed rationally, incidences of embezzlements and other unfair practices will be lessened. This applies not just to the government, but also to households, schools, companies, churches, and other places where money is the core functioning perpetuator.

Efforts in preventing corruption are recognized by PNoy. This is one manifestation that he is in the move for what he is trying to destroy in the Philippine political system. If not for this, just imagine how much money could have been wasted in the Laguna Lake dredging project and food-for-school programs with indefinite beneficiaries. These are just the ones that he was able to find out. I can’t imagine that there are other corruption plans left unscathed.

One statement that shows how brave PNoys is in confronting people who do wrong in his administration is this:

“Ang budget po ang pinakamalinaw na pagsasabuhay ng ating tuwid na landas. Ang aking pahiwatig sa lahat ng gusto pang ilihis tayo rito: Kung mang-aagrabyado ka lang ng mahirap, huwag ka nang magtangka. Kung sarili mo lang ang papayamanin mo, huwag ka nang magtangka. Kung hindi iyan para sa Pilipino, huwag ka nang magtangka.”

I love the braveness in the tone of this statement.

Regarding the following statement:

“Sana masabi na natin na tapos na ang utak wang-wang, pero nakikita po natin ang latak ng ganitong kaisipan na pilit bumubulahaw sa aliwalas ng ating biyahe sa tuwid na landas.”

PNoy is just being realistic. Although eliminating the wang-wang system is the ideal notion to implement in the entire nation, he did not fail to address the fact that it will not be as easy as anyone wishes it to be. I think Filipinos should not demand a lot of things from PNoy as if he is not doing anything. Building a strong and united nation isn’t the job of the President alone but the all the people living in it together.

PNoy also reported how many private sectors are not paying taxes properly. He encourages these private sectors to do their obligations to the government since all their contributions are already being used legally by the administration.

PNoy proves everyone wrong in the case of rice importation. Good job, PNoy. From 1.3 million metric tons being imported before, now it has lessened to 660, 000 metric tons. There has been a significant decrease but it would be better if we didn’t import rice at all because we are an agricultural country and could actually provide rice for the country.

Enhanced security also enhances our national pride. I like that PNoy stands his ground firmly regarding the Spratly’s Island. I love how he utilized a very witty figure of speech when he said, “Ang sa Pilipinas ay sa Pilipinas; kapag tumapak ka sa Recto Bank, para ka na ring tumapak sa Recto Avenue.” PNoy knows how to deliver a statement creatively and in a way that will make you ponder upon its profoundness. PNoy is so much disinterested in aggressive means to fight for what is ours. Everything could be dealt with in a diplomatic and civil manner. This could be manifested in the follow-up statement regarding the Spratly’s Island:

 “Wala tayong balak mang-away, pero kailangan ding mabatid ng mundo na handa tayong ipagtanggol ang atin. Pinag-aaralan na rin po natin ang pag-angat ng kaso sa West Philippine Sea sa International Tribunal for the Law of the Sea, upang masigurong sa mga susunod na pagkakataon ay hinahon at pagtitimpi ang maghahari tuwing may alitan sa teritoryo.”

Moving on, the last statements of PNoy’s SONA were very inspirational. He spoke the truth with a touch of melancholy hoping the listeners would feel a tinge of guilt. Very well said. I felt a pang in my chest knowing I could have been doing this every day of my life for the past years. To PNoy, thank you. I appreciate the things you are doing and sacrificing for this country.

 Kung magkasakit ka at makita mo ang nars na nag-aruga sa iyo, sa halip na magserbisyo sa dayuhan kapalit ng mas malaking suweldo, sabihin mo, “Salamat po.”

 Bago ka umuwi galing eskuwela, lapitan mo ang guro mong piniling mamuhunan sa iyong kinabukasan kaysa unahin ang sariling ginhawa; sabihin mo, “Salamat po.” Sa aking guro, Salamat po Ginang Escasa.

I should address the fact that yes, the PNoy presidency may have accomplished all these but a lot of people think that he had not quite clearly reported it all in his SONA. His speech was a little blurry, some facts exaggerated, and some only half-true. I somehow share the same sentiment. There wasn’t a clear report on how the economy is fully functioning. He used terms which are very general in nature to appear as if they’ve been sugarcoated to sound better than they actually are.

It is impossible for PNoy to keep track of every Filipino but nevertheless, his efforts are visible and we know that he is trying and “doing something”, contrary to what his haters refuse to believe and think. These accomplishments are something, are they not?

PNoy is trying to make us realize that if anything had barely worked for the previous presidents, this time things WILL work during his governance. It is now up to him to guard his integrity and keep his very inspirational and moving words. I am not anti-PNoy and not a diehard pro-PNoy either. I didn’t vote for anyone during the elections, but now that PNoy has been elected, one of the most productive things I can do to show concern to this nation is to support its leaders. PNoy suggests that fault-finding be stopped and that we all rejoice the good in things that we usually overlook.

The change we’ve been hoping for for a very long time could have been upon us long ago. We do not necessarily need to always depend on the leaders of the country to execute these transformations. We are capable by our own means, but we will be much more capable if we are led by leaders who are full of potential and passion in serving the Filipino people.